Post Surgery

 Well I am finally feeling almost normal, despite trying to be full on again and getting a few nose bleeds telling me to stop it. I can be up for amounts of time now so that is great! Everyday I feel better than the day before and I can breathe! This surgery was no joke, no surgery really is but this one ended up being more than I thought it would be. First off I apparently suck coming out of anesthesia, I am kind of mean-demanding-and tell people to just leave me alone, which I don't see the problem I mean just let me sleep and stop trying to make me eat the damn crackers! Here is the run down of what happened cause I am bored.

 The hospital called the night before and asked I come in an hour earlier than scheduled, but in the end it made no difference as they ran late. So I was awake at 4am due to nerves. Which was even more awful because i was really thirsty and I couldn't drink anything, but the nervous made me not hungry and that was a plus I guess. I then made the complete and utter mistake of searching youtube for the surgery I was about to have done to me...yep...bad idea...I got 30 seconds into the first video and stopped right there. I decided that I didn't want to know at all what was about to happen, just that I was going to have surgery to fix my nose and horribley infected sinuses and be blissfully happy that it was being done.

 We arrived at the surgery center right on time and while The Marine parked the truck I got all checked in, which was quick and easy actually they had all my information they just needed to varify that I was I. Funny thing is I kept begging The Marine to go home and pretend that I had surgery and he wouldn't but when I walked in these two nurses had charts pulled betting on who would be a no show and I was one of the bets. Ha Ha ladies lost with me! So after a very short wait the one nurse called me back and we walked to pro-op room where I got my gown on (and super snazzy sexy mesh undies) and my IV started (now I am pretty sure the IV was spposed to be running the whole time and it wasn't, we noticed this right before they wheeled me back). After about half an hour The Marine was called back to wait with me and watch my clothing until they took me back. So we waited and cracked some jokes and played the game words with friends on our phones. side note if you have not played this free app yet go download it cause it's super fun. I don't much like scrabble but this is fun! The pre-op room is borning, just big enough for two chairs, a bed, a small computer deck with computer on it and a door to the bathroom. No tv, no fun, nothing to even put in my bag for later besides a pair of hospital socks.The room was boring and I quickly got bored ...then hungry. 

  So when my doctor came into the room to make sure I was ready I knew it wouldn't be long after before I was wheeled back. He was in a good mood and happy to see me, maybe he thought I wasn;t coming too? I like my doctor he is one of those who generally actually cares about his patients wellbeing and not the bottom dollar he makes, which I will have a prime example of later on. So when he left the room and the anesthesiologist came in along with a surgical nurse, they asked some basic questions and soon the anesthesiologist was pumping my IV full of versed which acts really fast and is fun! I felt it take effect as I was wheeled out of my doorway into the hallway and the last thing I remember was the warm fuzzy totally high feeling and telling the nurse that "the good stuff just kicked in" and she smiled at me and said "good sweetie".

 I woke up to some rude sounding in my mind nurse saying it was time to wake up now and if I was in any pain. I managed to tell her I wasn't done sleeping and that my face hurt. She said if i woke up I could have two vicodins to feel better, only if i woke up. So I did cause my face really hurt. It felt like I was smashed with a brick in the nose and surronding areas and that my upper jar and roof of my mouth were broken as well. This pain really sucked and I knew it wasn't as bad as it really was because I was still pretty drugged up so I took those pain pills fast to avoid further more painful pain. I knew I was in the recovery room cause there were several beds in there with me that I could see through the slits of my eyes. I apparently wasn't coming out of it well one nurse told another and was kept in that room a little longer to make sure I was going to be ok. Sometimes nurses need to remember that people do hear and remember things, but maybe this was the kick in my butt I needed to hear to force myself to come out of it. I remember thinking I was so tired and sleeping was going to be the best way to go but that everybody wanted me to wake up for a reason probably so I needed to wake up if i was worrying a nurse. I could still barely open my eyes they felt so heavy and everything sounded really loud to me! I thought people were yelling they were so loud!

 Once I woke up enough they took the sticky things off me, I counted 7 of them. I was then ready to be wheeled into my post-op room. that ride made me dizzy I decided and i wanted to go back to sleep but the nurses there wanted me to wake up and eat some crackers and drink some pop. It was nice of them to ask me what kind of pop I wanted, I choose serria mist as I thought it would help my tummy. So I ate I think half of one cracker and drank the pop for my tummy. The new nurse told me that my doctor went to find The Marine and talk about the surgery but he wasn't out there, to which I replied remember I am apparently a tad mean at this point that his dumb ass probably went to get something to eat. I knew he was hungry because he did not eat (he said he felt bad eating when  Icouldn't) and I had no idea what time it was...for all I knew I was only out 5minutes! I do feel bad for caling his dumb-ass but in my defense I was groggy and I am mean groggy. She said in about 5 minutes she would call out to see if he was back yet, I asked what time it was cause i tired looking at the clock in the room and couldn't read it. I forgot I had taken my contacts out and did not have my glasses for a second so when I couldn't read the clock I had a second of panic that I was blind now. It was close to 3pm she said, I lost 2 hours of my life.

 The Marine was finally located and he came back!!! From here on until later that night seemed to go very fast to me as i was in and out of things. I know he was being told about aftercare, a bunch of stuff about saline rinses in my nose and how often to give pain meds, antibiotics, and keep my head upright. I at some point had some gauge taped to my face to catch any bloody drips from my nose. Then my friend came in to see me!! She had said she might come by but wasn't sure if she could so it meant a lot that she was there! She came with some very pretty yellow roses and a sweet card that is now hanging on my fridge! She is a nurse so she was asking a lot fo questions of the nurse.

 I basically wanted to sleep and was trying to tune people out to get to sleep but everybody was so loud! The gauge taped to my face was itchy and I kept trying to move it but somebody kept putting it back. At one point they took the tape gauge off and replaced it with thing thing that wraps around your ears and holds it in place which wasn't any better in my opinion. Not sure how long I stayed in that room but soon it was time to go and so the nurse and my friend helped me into a wheelchair while The Marine pulled the truck up to the front. I do know that I was happy to have a puke bucket because there sure were lots of twists and turns getting out of there and by the time I was up into the truck I was ready to throw up. I was alarmed that I threw up blood until I rmemebered that I had probably been swallowing the blood from my sinues and nose and that is all I had in me to empty so no big deal. The Marine emptied the bucket fast and my friend got me a drink of water :-) I do not remember the ride home or getting into the house, all I know is that I was comfy on a reclined couch. We did good 3years ago buying these big fluffy fully reclining couches!

 I know that my friend stayed with me while The Marine got my medications filled and a few things like popcicles and chicken soup but I also slept the entire time I think. I remember telling her how much it meant to me that she was there and crying cause it really means a lot to me. She set my beautiful yellow roses up in a vase and on the table next to me so I could see them. I slept often that first day/night really and i don't remember much just little pieces I maybe made up in my head who knows I tend to dream vividly while on pain killers. the first saline mist up my nose sucked big time and I no longer wanted to do that at all even though I had to, like take something that feels like it was smashed like a brick and shooting streams of water up there...ya NO! I did keep on doing this though because aftercare is just as important as the surgery I was told so I really want to avoid another surgery.

 So day one sucked and I slept most of it away. The Marine has been wonderful and set alarms to wake him up to give me my meds so that I wasn't feeling much pain and it didn't overwhelm me.

 Day two I slept more than I was awake again. I ate some soups and popcicles and toast but nothing hard cause the roof of my mouth hurt badly. Thursday eveing my phone rang and it was my wonderful doctor! Remember how I said he is the real type who actually cares? Well he called from his home just to make sure I was feeling alright and if I needed anything. He said my sinues looked better than expected but there were other things he wasn't expecting which he would explain at my follow up on Monday. How often does your doctor call you these days to make sure you are ok? not often...they don't get paid for that. I thought that was great!

 Friday-Day three I was awake more but still nicely medicated. It didn't hurt so bad so we thought maybe we should do pain meds less often starting the next day. I was still sleeping on the couch and not moving much except for bathroom breaks.

 Saturday day four I felt better and good enough to try pain meds less often. This proved to not be the best idea actually.

Now I wanna address something that is bugging me. I miss my kids but I also wanna be the best mommy to them I can be so yes they are gone with their grandparents, who can blame me? I needed surgery and I KNOW I cannot be mommy after surgery, whats best for us all is for me to heal 100% and they can come home. This isn't a vacation for me, this recovery sucks and hurts but I need to recover peacufully. This does not make me any less of a mother than annybody else no matter who tries to make me seem like that. I made a comment on my FB about missing my kids after talking to them that night and yes I do miss my kids. I had an extremely rude comment posted to that about how I could just go get them...if I wanted. Yep...cause I only sent them away for fun and I don't want them home or something. This comment still pisses me off thinking about it. I talked with my friend today at lunch about it, she felt the same way, along with a few messages in my inbox stating the same. I maybe could delete the rude comment but I don't delete things, I leave them as is and if the person deletes them fine, I just don't. I am smart enought to know that I cannot be the mommy they need at this point in time during the recovery from surgery, I am smart enought to leave them with people who love them and take care of them. It's all fine and dandy to have your kids 100% of the time because you feel 100% of the time and never are sick enough or had just had surgery or some other thing but not in my case. I thought the person who wrote this was a friend, but I misjudged probably and am deeply hurt by her judgemental and rude comment about my parenting. you know who you are, and what you did was purely out of a mean judgemental attitude because you would never leave your kids, and that's you. This is me and I am not in a mompetition with anybody. Dismount that high horse and get over it. and done

 Sunday I thought I was going to feel good enough to get up and make an appearence at my friend's son's 5th birthday party. I got a shower and that's all the further it went, boy that took all out of me that I had and so then I was done. I felt bad but she understood. I spet the rest of the day, it hurt from being up like that. I watched army wives later that night and that was all.
 Moday The Marine had to go back to work and I had a follow up appointment in the morning. He came home to help me get dressed as I attempted this by myself and got nowhere fast. Sitting in the waiting room sucked cause it made me dizzy and my face felt like throbbing pressure. But the doctor said I was looking great and healing well. He then told me how the bone spur he cut from my nose, the left side-the side that hurts way more and bleeds more, he wasn't expecting that and was surprised that it never bothered me cause it was "a good size". He said my septum was worse than he saw to begin with and wondered what I had done to make it like that, I have no idea, I don't remember any major trama! He said all-in-all I was looking good and to keep up the good aftercare and see him in a month for a scope to check things out. UGH...scope...not fun in my eyes. But the nurse said it isn't bad, I get numbed first and it lasts about a minute maybe two at the most. If I notice any colored drainage or smells from my nose to call asap and come right in cause I may have an infection. Other than that good job! I got a new prescription to a new lesser pain pill which really helps the pain much better than the other stuff! It doesn't leave me super loopy either!! The rest of the day I sepnt being bored and laying around cause i tired to get up and it made me dizzy. That night I thought I could lay down in my bed again but it didn't work out. The pressure from laying flat was a bit too much for me and it ended up hurting so I went downstairs to the couch just in time to have a nose bleed...those suck. I don't ever get those so it sucked.

 Tuesday- feeling pretty good so I decided to start cleaning carpets before kids come home, and clean kitchen, and maybe the bathroom downstairs. Had to stop when nose started bleeding again :-( took a short nap and my wonderful friend came over to see how I was. She must have known I was bored and suggested lunch!! Yummy panera and a real conversation made me feel lots better!!! I am so thankful!!! So that's where I am. I think I am going to clean a little more carpet and rest, carpet-rest, carpet-rest and see how that does me.

 The kids are due home Thursday morning some time and I am so excited!!! I miss those two like crazy, the house is much too quiet-clean-and boring for me!!! The toys are all put up and not all over it's so weird!! I need to get carpets cleaned before they get here though so I have to work on that.