I am So Nervous...

....I really feel like I could puke right now. My sinus surgery is today and I am just about sick to my stomach nervous about it. I have to be at the hospital at 1030am to get checked in and everything for my noon surgery. Last night we left the babies with their grandparents and I hated leaving them like I always do even though I know they are going to be perfectly happy where they are. I know I need to focus on the good things the main one being my daily horrid killer headaches (which I actually have learned to live with) will probably end, I can breathe normally again, I will be able to sleep restful again, I won't be running high a high risk of menigitis anymore from the severly infected sinues in my head, I might finally feel normal again and be able to get up and go again!
 But I am still nervous. I am nervous because I had to have a brain mapping scan so the doctor doesn't "mess something up" (his words), I am nervous that soemthing does go wrong and in which case I told my husband I better be wearing cloth diapers if I need them he had better find me some, I am nervous this won't fix my problems, I am nervous because this is going to hurt no way around that. I am plain nervous.
 I have been filling my sleepless morning with photgraphy and this 7 day free photo class The Joy of Luck it's pretty fun. I have edited a free shots from a recent wedding and couples shoot and been sick nervous. I miss my babies badly...I wish I could have had my normal morning wake up that I take for granted so often. My sweet Ladybug climbing in bed to snuggle and telling me she loves me while kissing my cheek or forehead. She makes her early morning wake up calls worth it. And waiting for my Mister to wake up and smile when I walk in his room. I miss them... I sat in Ladybugs room for a little bit this morning cause it's so peaceful in there trying to find calm.
 so today say a nice prayer that the surgons hands are steady and that things go smoothly please! and a reminder...if the next blog is wacky or whatever, I was probably blooging under the influence lol