Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes!

 So many changes are happening in this ginger's life right now, it's near impossibale to keep up blogging anymore!
 First it's summer so we are out of the house often! Playing in the pool, sprinkler, with the water table, whatever it may be we have been running crazy! Mister and Ladybug have also been staying up a little later before bedtime to enjoy the summer evenings! Ladybug LOVES catching blinky bugs aka fireflies!!!
 Ladybug recently had her THIRD birthday and it was a wonderful amazing party! She also attended Vacation bible School for the first time ever at the church her Nana and Papa attend regularly, which we attend when we can. She loved it! Mister and I spent that week together just us two and had much needed bonding and love time going on! His speech also came like 5 miles that week because his sister wasn't doing everything for him! Go figure! He now has the normal number for words for his age!!!
 I GOT A JOB!!!!! Yep a job!!! My first job since having kids! It's a part time job at our fun local indoor play place for kids ages 9months-10years! We often play there so why not get paid for it?! I get to bring the kids with me, they play while I keep things under control and clean things every few hours! It couldn't be more perfect actually. I love it!
 I've decided to work on myself and finally get back to the skinny bitch I have always been. I shamefully gained so much weight with both pregnancies and now I am over weight by a lot. I weigh in at a horrid 217lbs and I want to be down to 140-150lbs. I have been drinking protein shakes twice a day instead of two meals and then eating a good dinner. Ive also started the biggest Loser workout dvd. I'm proud to say I lost 3lbs the first week! I have a lot to go but it's a start!

 So I'm going into blog hiding until I have more time and no distractions! TaTa for now!!

PCS'ing

 PCS is a term military families know well, very very well. It can be a new adventure, a blessing, a change of pace, something scary, or something welcomed. It can be everything and it can also be sucky at the same time and I personally right now hate it. PCS stands for permanet change of station or in other words moving from one base to another. It is something you will have to do if you spend more than one enlistment in the military, really there is almost no way around it unless you have some rock solid MOS or like my younger brother you PCS from one base to another that is right down the road...lucky!
 Right now we are not moving but it seems all my friends here are and I hate this. I have made some great mommy friends here and after July I won't have but a few which honestly I don't hang out with outside of playgroup because I am socially stupid but I am willing to change...for those who read this that is me saying I wanna hang out ha ha! I have been on this side of the move before and it never really bothered me, heck I even PCS'ed before and didn't bat an eye. This time around sucks some big green balls.
 I made this one friend and formed a cool bond with her. Ladybug has formed a sweet little bond with her son J as well and it is the most adorable thing in the world! Our husbands even are friends, both are Marines so they have that in common! She even has this sweet teenager whom I like as well. She let me pratice photography on her and her then fiancee, and even do pictures of their super sweet and intimate courthouse wedding. She is a wonderful person and I really like her but is she effing leaving in a few days and I couldn't be more sad by this. ok seriously don't think I am some really weird person for saying that...I'm not but as stated above I am socially stupid and so friends for me are like gold! ...ok that sounded really weird...maybe I should stop talking?
 UGH I hate you PCS ...why must you suck so much? Ladybug is going to be upset when she can't to her the friends house anymore and swim with him. She will probably ask me about him for months to come, that will suck. ugh I hate Ft. Lee for having my friend move there....you suck Ft. Lee!!

 ok... life will go on and we have facebook but it's not the same dang it!

Oh Mister You Can Hear!!!

 In a little over a week Mister will have his big hearing test and for once I think he will surely pass! He has been doing so well lately since his tubes were in place. He is forming new words daily and his comprehension  is going up and up! He isn't the best at the new sounds he is forming but he is trying his hardest to do them, most of the time.
 Today he started saying bye-bye and waving at the same time, he did this perfectly to the lady who always delivers our pizza no joke whenever we get from Papa Johns the same lady always comes, I think she loves us cause she knows our names now.. weird? kinda He said up to a friend's husband this morning at playgroup when he wanted him to pick Mister up and hold him. He has been signing way more lately and I think it is because he can hear us and he understands that signing is effective in communicating to us! He wanted me to blow some more bubbles yesterday for him and he said the word bubble along with signing please so essencially he just had a two word sentence! I am so excited for him!!!
 He is still resorting to screaming at the top of his lungs when trying to communicate to people his size, and all the kids at playgroup will tell you about this. He also resorts to pinching and biting when he isn't being understood the way he wants, or throwing his tantrum which involves gently throwing himself on the ground and doing this wimpering cry that is so sad and sorry you nearly laugh. I know these things will over time improve as his speech and comminucation improves, I know not to rush it either. Mister has always been the type to do something in in own time frame not anybody else's frame for anything. He can hear now, everything else is coming along. With the help of his speech therpist and OT lady who comes to see him he is moving along perfectly!
 Now if I can get him to call me Mommy instead of Daddy I will be extremely happy! I think he does this on purpose cause he laughs everytime I try to get him to say momma or mommy and then looks right at me and says daddy then laughs more. He does say momma when he really and truly needs me, so I know he can...it's our game! He is a goof ball!

Charting Tells Me

 My chart is telling me I have some sort of hormonal imbalance that needs fixing. Normally a chart is nearly flatline for the first part of a cycle, then a temp jump when ovulation happens and from there two things can happen 1.) the temp stays up or even higher if you get pregnant or 2.) the temps plumet and you get your period. My chart however seems to be all over the place which makes me sad.
 I started charting this cycle because we have been not exactly trying but not avoiding at all for about 7 months now and nothing has happened. I have a feeling that the fertility problems I had when trying for #1 are coming back into play (Mister was this weird crazy fluke and a total surprise). So I wanted to chart to see what is going on and I now have a good idea. I am looking into some herbs and oils to help regulate things and maybe we will have success. Trying to keep doctors out of this. Going on the more natural path!
 So I also guess this is my big announcement that we are wanting to welcome a third into our lives! As crazy as that sounds this day we do!

A Little More About Your Body

 I had wrote a blog earlier about getting to know your body (here), I hope it sparked a little curiosity in some of you which lead to your own research. I did not want to go too in depth with that blog, mainly just a starting point to jump from for yourself. I want to write now about how you can pin point conception and why it is important in today's health care for you and your future child.
 First let me raise your awareness about the horrid rates of inductions in America. Roughly 1 out of every 3 women have their labor induced, most for very unnecessary reasons big baby, being post dates, doctors convenience, mothers convenience.. Most of these inductions are around 40 weeks when a woman is "term" and surprisingly horrible is that doctors induce women before the baby is even "term". What does this mean exactly? Well having an induction is an almost guarantee that intervention after intervention will be used. Pitocin is sure to be used I will not get into the effects of pit labor right now and some studies say that your chances for a c-section increase by 50% or more. Nobody wants some major surgery, ever. If you do then stop reading my blog and find a shrink please.
 Let me talk about one major thing with inductions before 40 weeks of pregnancy, they can bring out pre-term newborns. A pre-term newborn is not a pre-mature baby but still faces a lot of the same complications and some of their own as a premature baby would. A pre-term newborn is born between 35-37/8 weeks of pregnancy. They can be born with immature lungs, inability to regular body temperature, low blood sugars, poor suckle reflex, they have higher rates of infantile reflux. A pre-term newborn can spend time, and very costly time, in the NICU for these things. When they do come home they have higher chances of contracting RSV, flu, ear infections and a few other things. So who wants a pre-term newborn?... if you said yes then please again stop reading and find a shrink. Even with all of those things pre-term newborns are being born every single day, why? Well because doctors induce women on their  due dates or sooner without knowing exactly when conception happened. They use their best guesses like basing it on your last period, and if you have some pretty wacky cycles that guess can be way way off...like 2 weeks or longer. So just think you are 40 weeks and doctor Mc Stabby Hands wants to induce but your cycles were longer than whatever normal is and so really your baby can be like 38 weeks, now imagine the same doctor doesn't "let" women go to their due dates and wants to induce around 38.5 weeks..so now the baby is what 36 weeks? ..... well now you have a pre-term infant on hand. While most pre-term babies are fine (sorry not percent here couldn't find one) some do not do alright and that is a chance I DO NOT wish to take.

 Ok so here is my education, if you can pin point conception by charting your daily waking basal body temperature as described in the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility then you will know when to accept an induction if that is the path you so should choose. You will be able to know exactly how far you are and how developed your baby is and when it should be safe for them to come into the world if you choose not to let nature be. Charting is easy actually, it is just something that becomes a part of your morning wake up. The alarm (or in my case crazy energetic 3 yr old) goes off you pop the thermometer in your mouth, it beeps, you write it down. Some women then take the temps and chart them to see when the thermo shift happens when ovulation occurs. When you are able to pin-point this you know exactly how far along you are when you become pregnant, and education is your best weapon against unwanted inductions! Seriously, think about it!!

Summa-time

pardon my sausage feet

 Ah summer has hit Northern Alabama, well the temputure says it has, ok well it did last week anyway (this week...chilly!) I set up the pool we got the kids this year, which is nice and big and deep if we want for all of us to relax in our yard if The Marine ever cuts the grass in the back. We bought this pool months ago from toys r us for around $25, a steal! Both kids this year can walk and are able to do decently in a pool, you know with me watching so Ladybig doesn't try to drown her brother and blame it on something else. Her evil streak is coming through, yep she is 3 years old and thats worse than 2.  The 90 degree heat last week seems to have been a fluke as right now it's barely 65 out there, cloudy and a little rainy, boooo, but I will take it as I do not fair well in heat. Never have, I get nicely overheated and passout-able, always a good time. Also as a ginger I tend to burn and sunburns suck along with the insane crackhead like itching that comes along with the healing.

 Ha ha Mister has a slightly harder time getting in and out, it requires him to use his special climbing talents. Maybe we should think about a ladder for him! Our pool sides come up to his chest!

 The kids also got a water table this year, which has been a huge hit since we bought it. Shown above is one part of the table they love so much, going off their love for dumping cups of water onto whatever is around.

 we say it was an early birthday gift for Ladybug, but really it is just because I thought they would enjoy it and they do!

 So summer time! What are you doing now that the weather is nice and enjoyable?!

Knowing Your Body

 Disclaimer: This blog may be too personal for many of you. I am about to talk a lot about womanly things, so if you do not wish to read more about me personally than you think you want to know click away. I warned you.

 So in general knowing your body and it's functions is a good thing. You can become in tune with your body and know illness coming on, tummy troubles, headaches and when they come. However when it comes to women knowing their own body the less known is better attitude happens a lot. Who really likes talking about their periods? Not many, let alone talking about how your period is totally normal, natural, and needed or the reasons behind the period. Most women know about every 28-34 days on average things start sucking. Cramps hurt, PMS sucks for everybody around you (ha ha sorry Marine!), bloating makes sweatpants seem fashionable suddenly. But how many of you know tell me how your cycle really works? ...I am guessing not many, which is sad we women need to know our bodies and take charge of them! Especially those looking to increase their fertility and pregnancy odds. Even more those try to conceive and having troubles, you REALLY need to be in tune with your body. There are some things to learn to help. I want to talk about them here, now.

 There is this book that I recommend to anybody wanting to know more about their body, fertility, and anything related to being a woman. It's Called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is an amazing read. It teaches you things I know the majority of you have never known about before. Example have you ever felt your own cervix? ...nah I didn't think so. Have you ever heard about charting your daily basal body temp to track ovulation patterns? Or ever take notice your personal vaginal fluids during the month? All of those relate to your fertility and are important to be aware of.  I know this isn't for everybody and I am not saying everybody needs to go ahead right now and shove your hands up there, but it is your body maybe you should know how it works. Maybe you should get over your high schoolish giggles and stop being grossed out or whatever and understand yourself a little better.

 The cervix is quite the amazing little thing. Did you know it changes positions, textures, opens up and closes all throughout your cycle? Did you know it also produces mucous when you are most fertile, mucous that is stretchy-clear almost like egg whites actually. Have you ever even seen one? If not hop on over to The Beautiful Cervix if you dare, it's pretty cool. You might learn something!

 Have you ever heard of a woman who takes her temperature every morning and charts it? Probably not most likely. It really informative and a great tool to track and pin point ovulation in a woman. During the beginning of a woman's cycle her body temp is low (like around 97degrees) and it should stay pretty steady. As the body ovulates the temp jumps up (know as a thermal shift) and after ovulation the temp stays higher and can either drop back down low when the new cycle starts or can stay high or even higher if pregnancy occurs. It's pretty neat, though can be a pain to remember your temp every morning at first. If you so should choose to read the book above it can teach you more about this method and even has software that tracks everything for you, all you have to do is plug in your temps. Check out the galleries here for some examples of charts. I have been doing this for years, since before Ladybug was born.

 Ok so have you been informed a little yet? You really should read that book, or check out the fourms that go along with the book on their website http://www.tcoyf.com/forums/. Maybe some day you will find out what Mittelschmerz means! I will give you a hint...it sometimes hurts!!!

 We all know our periods suck, what is to love about them? How many of you have been using tampons or pads all your life? Did you ever think there were other options? Ever think about them chemicals in those products you use? Or how much money you have wasted on them? Ever hear of the toxic shock syndrome? If not maybe you should look it up, and come back and read about how to avoid that and probably makes your period way more comfortable (including the elimination of cramps, cause ya know those suck monkey balls). So there are many options out there for you but first you need to get rid of that yuck or eww factor like asap....is it gone? ok here we go

 OK here is option number 1 and the option most women use. It is called a menstrual cup (this particular one is called a diva cup) and I personally use this one. I love it. I never would go back to anything else honestly. So how does it work? Well it's a cup, it goes in (ok yes there is a learning curve on this but once you get it, you get it!) and it collects. It is not gross, you simply carefully take it out and empty it twice a day or more if you have a heavy flow. Rinse it out and put it back in. simple. It's not messy, I personally have never had a spill or a total gross moment using the cup ever. I can personally say I used to get some nasty cramps, like make you think about taking more than one perocept at a time cramps and since using the cup I ever have no cramps or extremely mild whatever mainly annoying cramps. Want to know why? ...well simply put I am not putting some awful chemicals from a tampon in my body. Another reason to love the cup is the no trash factor....like on vacation recently it was simple and easy...no embarrassing trash in the bathroom for all to see. Be honest when you go into a bathroom and see nasty bloody trash you are grossed out aren't you? Or ever had a dog enjoy that trash and bring it out for all to see? Yep...that doesn't happen here with this...nobody knows besides you! When your period is over simple wash/boil (whatever the cup says to do) and store for next time around. It isn't big at all, most come in sizes to perfectly fit you and your needs. It's made of silicone or some have natural rubber so it is soft and flexible, and once in you nearly forget you are even on your period! Seriously this is way easier, cost effective, less gross, and more green than what you are doing now. For about $30-$40 for a cup it will last a few years, how much do you spend for a few years on tampons or pads? ...think about it!  

 Next is a pad, a washable pad. Now I personally do not do this route but plenty of women do. Pictured above is a popular brand called Luna Pads. The idea with these is the same as the pads you use now. The have wings that snap into place and some in light, regular, heavy, and overnight pads. They have fun cute prints (cause I am not sure...women like cute things?). The backing is waterproof so they do not leak and They are super soft and you can buy some with minkee tops, have you ever felt minkee? It is heavenly soft! Your vag would thank you for being so nice if it could! (or that might be creepy....) So these are for those who do not like inserting things, like if it's not comfortable for you or hurts but you want something green and healthy. You would change these like normal and then place them in their own bag (most starter kits come with waterproof bags to keep by the toilet and can be washed too) or I have seen some women keep a wet bucket near the toilet and place in there so they don't stain. You throw these in the wash with a little natural detergent and wash for next time. It's a little more involved than the cup above but a very great product and plenty of women use these. I know a few and they love and swear by them. Me personally I have enough laundry to do, just saying.

 Ok so this one is in my personal opinion a little too out there for me and therefore not for me BUT i do know somebody who uses these. This is a natural sea sponge tampon. It is a sea sponge that is small enough for you (these also come in sizes including teen sizes which I find pretty cool!). When they come to you they are hard but you prep them to get the softness. The idea behind these is simple, they absorb. When you change it out you rinse in the sink, yes you do have to squeeze out these which is where I personally draw a line. You wash them in a little water and some mild soap I think (feel free to correct me if I am wrong) and maybe some tea tree oil to keep bacteria away. They are good for 4-8months and are nice and cheap. Sorry I cannot offer more info on these I just don't have much as I only know the one person to use them!

 There are plenty of more options out there including cotton bamboo washable tampons. You just need to figure out what level of comfort you have with yourself and go from there. I never in my life thought I would be this out there I guess, but honestly the cup is the best thing ever and I would NEVER go back from it. I love my diva cup I really wish somebody had told me sooner about it. So go out buy or rent the book above, use google, browse the fertility fourms, read about options you have and take charge! You may even come back and thank me some day....maybe!

3rd Birthday Coming Up

 Ladybug is set to turn three years old in about a month unless I have figured out to stop time before the date that is.  I cannot believe my little bug is growing up so fast actually. It feel likes recently not yesterday cause I don't think I can remember yesterday anyway that The Marine was coming home from Iraq and we went together to one of those ultrasound boutiques to find out what our baby was sporting-hotdog or hamburger-we waited until 34 weeks to be able to find out together due to stupid deployments and stupid wars, boy that was hard! We were over the moon excited when we found out, I kept asking the lady to zoom in so I could see it better and sure enough there it was in 3d Ladybug decided to sport the hamburger style parts! We bought her uber cute homecoming outfit as soon as we found the nearest store to shop in, right after we three way called family members and yelled excitedly that is!

Meeting Ladybug for the first time, right before she pooped on me.

 Ah I remember labor and how naive I was going into it, just saying you want a natural birth doesn't exactly prepare you for a natural birth with an OP positioned babe. I remember meeting her in person the first time this actually seems like yesterday the memory is so clear she promptly pooped all over me and that's our our relationship has been from the first second. She has called the shots! With gentle discipline and guidance our sweet little 7 pound 13ounce baby girl has grown into this 35lbs super tall, 5t size wearing near 3 year old! She surely is her own person, full of spunk, fun, energy, love, emotion, kindness, and heart all wrapped up into this amazingly adorable package!
 This year she is able to tell me how she wants her birthday cake to look like, something i have been looking forward to actually. I have to say that I personally love birthdays, all birthdays, mine-yours-The Marine's-the kids....I just love birthdays and I always try to do something special no matter what. Just ask The Marine, he hates when I do something and tells me all the time to not but I do it anyway cause it's a freaking celebration dang it! So I have been prepping Ladybug up for her birthday this year, telling her what happens, she gets cake, she blows out candles, and we all celebrate her being here with us, we celebrate her life. She is thrilled actually this year and understands what is going to happen. In fact for the past few weeks she has asked everyday, many times a day, if it is her birthday yet and when you say not yet she asks about a list of people she knows if it is their birthday. So she is excited! This year I have been asking her what she would want on her cake and at first she had the most odd request. Ladybug said she wanted a purple cake ok fair enough I can do purple that looks like her brother um whuck?! Yes she said she wanted her cake to look like Mister and she held onto this for near two weeks! I was starting to sweat, ya how would I pull that off? She would be so dissappointed when I did not present a cake that looks like Mister cause I wasn't doing that. Thankfully however she has settled on Dora the Marketing Whore-a said in a sing-songy voice that has a ring to it so this I can do. It's a good settle I think. She likes Dora, which is fine I mean kids like things they see and since Dora seems to be everywhere it is natural for her to be drawn that direction. So this year's cake shall be a Dora cake and now I have to ggole images to find the perfect easy simple design that I can pull off in my kitchen.
 In the past her cake has been simple and then large.

Her first birthday was spent at her Nana and Papa's house. We had family drive in from Ohio (my dad and great aunt) as well as North Carolina (my brother) and then we all drove up the moutain and had a nice little party with lots more family who all live there to celebrate her. It was great and exciting and was so much fun!

 Her second birthday was spent at home with just a few friends from the area and some other kids both her age and Mister's age to play with. It was nice and the cake was huge! She got a still very awesome trampoline which she totally still jumps on every single day! Best.Gift.Ever! Mister was sickly that day and had just started coming down with whatever he had, she had a doctors appointment for a check up and it was a fun day.

 This year....to be announced!!!



Mister Hearing

 Yesterday afternoon Mister had a follow up appointment after he had his tubes put in place. Well we both had an after surgeyr follow up but this is about him. He finally did alright with the pressure test and now finally both ears have equla and normal pressure in both!! They also attempted a hearing test on him, which he failed miserably actually. I figured he would actually not because I think he is deaf but because I know my son. The audiologist decided to put the ear phones on him and do a test, which caused him to freeze because it was something new. She put the goggles on him and he froze because he didn't know what to think of this something new on his head. He just literally froze, besides from his chest moving up and down from breathing he was totally utterly motionless. This is classic Mister style, when something new happens he freezes completely, he does this with anything new in his life. I am not sure why but I knew this would happen and so I knew he would fail this little test. The audiologist said if the other doctor was there (he was out taking care of the massive storm damage, not sure if you heard about the outbreak we had down here...) they would try the booth hearing test with the cute light up movement bears and things, called hearing play I guess. Now Mister has done this before at a different place and failed and so I am assuming he would fail again this time because that is classic Mister style.
 When we saw our wonderful ENT he checked his ears throughouly and declared his tubes an utter success and he could see clearly and both ears looked great! That was wonderful news but now we have to wait a month before coming back and doing a major hearing test on Mister. This major test will most liekly give us what we need to know about his hear, if he hears and to what degree he hears, which in turn will help us to go further on his speech theraphy. The Otoacoustic emission test is a simple test which a small something will be placed in his ears and it will record and measure how the tiny hairs in his ears are moving in response to sounds and tones. It's non-invasive and shouldn't bother Mister much at all. This test is preformed without his participation at all so he really cannot mess it up unless he is super cranky and won't be good to let it happen that day. His appointment is the day before Ladybug's birthday in the morning, a whole month's wait... I hate waiting...I think we have waited enough for real solid results on his hearing but what can I do besides complain to myself about it.
 So I am nervous and worried and hopeful all at the same time about this major real final yes/yes and what degree he can hear test next month. I hope he can hear and if he can hear than why is he choosing to make us all think he is nearly deaf? Why does he not speak? side note here, he has been saying a few new things recently and this is a huge step!! still will not say mommy but he is forming new sounds and said a few new things!!!  So this is where we are right now in time with Mister and his hearing/speech

Struggle

 I love doing the mainly attachment parenting thing with the kids. I know it's what is best for them, best for us, and it works for our family. I have been struggling though lately. Almost falling off the AP wagon at times and resorting to threats of spanking and bedroom time outs. Mister has always been a challenge to parent, it's Ladybug who has been extremely trying lately. She is approaching 3 years old and naturally we have coming across problems with defyiance, testing limits, saying no to everything, throwing massive fits, and wanting her own way all the time.
 A few of her favorite sayings these days include "what?", as in her like not wanting to have heard the thing I just asked of her so she says what in reply to a lot of things. "I NOT want to..." do whatever it is that I ask of her like a simple task she took deodarant from the bathroom and ran away with it so I asked her to please put it back which lead to the throwing of herself on the floor screaming "I not, I NOT I NOT". I counted which made her scream louder then I threatened a time out. She put it back but continued her attitude towards everybody around her. "No", she likes no and says it as much as she can. "no mommy I want candy not a banana.." that was a fight this morning with her. I understand candy is yummy but it's not a breakfast food, she then proceeded to call me mean mommy and wanted me to go to a time out.
 Ladybug is bossy and enjoys ordering people around. She will tell you not to be mean to her and if you go against her wishes she orders you to a time out. She is an expert at giving that look to you when you upset her. She hits and kicks when she is super upset, which isn't often as we try our hardest to curb that before it leads to that but when she hasn't napped she gets upset faster. She has been unwilling to nap more and more recently, if she does nap then she wakes up many times at night. We have come to just compremise on a later afternoon short nap and it's ok.
 I know what we are dealing with is so normal for a child her age but it is none the less trying our limits and patience as parents. I said before I love how we parent and I do not wish to change that and start spanking and hitting because that gets you no where. How can you teach a child not to be mean when you are being mean to them?! Just doesn't make sense. The Marine is way less patient with her than I am and this upsets me often. He is quick to jump right into being mean and threats towards her, which I hate. I hate having to remind him that being mean to her gets you nothing but a mean child, she reflects when you teach her. So this area also is having a bad effect of our marriage...it doesn't seem like we are on the same page exactly or we are and I just have more control over myself than he does. I don't know.
 I want her to stop with her behaviors but I want to do this in a way that doesn't curb her headstrong will, or squash her being. I think her being so strong willed and independant is a good thing actually and I want her to maintain these but I need for her to stop being such an attitudely little girl right now. This too shall pass I guess I should plaster all over the house.

Road Trip!

 Tomorrow bright and early we leave for our vacation to see my family in North Eastern Ohio. Boy I am not excited about being in the truck for 12+hours sitting in the back between two toddlers who probably won't be amused about this for long. I am looking forward to seeing my family once again. Only a small handful have met Mister and have only seen Ladybug once when she was 7 months old. It has been over two years since we have ventured up there so it was due for the trip.
 Packing for an entire family makes you become a super organized person. I made lists of what all needed to go in what bag for each person and when it needed to be packed. For instance clothes are all packed (the kids are sleeping in their day clothes tomorrow actually) but things like pillows need to be packed first thing in the morning because we are using them now. The inside of the truck is packed but the outside in the bed will get packed tomorrow morning before we wake the kids. I had thought to pack it tonight but do you know how beyond pissed off I would be if that shit would have been stolen overnight?! Well it would be on the murderous level of pissed off-ness.
 Today my awesome Friend Meagen came over to check out the house as she will be coming to let the puppies out three times a day and play with them and clean Bobby's nasty litter box. In exchange for her services I agreed to bake her some of my banana bread though I think she meant like a loaf not the four I made for her and her family to enjoy, two with walnuts and two without. Trust me when I say that this banana bread is so good that one loaf isn't enough and she has a larger size family so she needs more! She is amazingly awesome to be doing this for only banana bread when this is her job with a company that normally I would have to pay like $900!! So in any way I can repay her in food I am all for it!! Thank you Meagen!!!
 We installed the carseats all nice and secure in the truck. We flipped Ladybug back around to rear facing for the trip, it is safer and The Marine and I feel much more comfortable traveling such a long way with her as safe as possible. Mister remains rear facing as usual. Surprisingly Ladybug enjoyed being turned around when we put her in to get her adjusted! She has enough leg room and she said it was comfy with her legs crossed. I also showed her that she could put them up against the seat back or down around her carseat if she wanted. If she gets cramped we can always take a break to stretch out, we had planned on doing this anyway. IF anybody wonders about this she actually likes her legs crossed better than dangling down, she has complained before how she doesn't like the "biting" feeling in her feet...which I assume is her feet falling asleep. She is 33lbs and the rear facing limit is 35lbs so we are just squeeking by on that! Plus ya know what it is easier to sleep when rear facing like that. No necks hurting cause you were all slumped over and bobbing all over with every bump, nope just close your eyes and relax!!
 We bought some new special things for the trip at the store over the weekend. Some art stuff like peel and stick foam stuff. New coloring books, bubbles, and things hand held computer thing that I have never seen before but it has some good games and music things on it. Those combined with me, naps, eating in places, and more naps I think we will survive the trip just fine....I hope!! If you are my facebook friend you know I am very against having a dvd player or tv in the car. That actually sparked a huge debate the other day. I do not agree with the over use of tv in general and so having a tv in the car is totally outrageous to me actually. I can see how cross country trips it would be probably useful, or single moms who take super long trips with the baby alone, but simple around town trips or hop into the store real quick turn the tv on is just insanity and stupid. It will not happen in my family because that is how we choose to do things in our family. The world is too dependant on tv and other electronic things to begin with.. we all survived trips as children without tv and we are all alive today.(I know I normally hate that argument that we did it and we are fine, but only when it rearguards to safety issues like carseats....)
 So tomorrow bright and early...Ohio here we come!!

My Advise Will Only Be Bought

 I like to give out advise to people who seem to actually seek it out. I get messages on facebook often from new moms and some seasoned moms looking for advise. I give them what I can and what worked for my family under the understanding what works for me and my family may not work for them but I also point them to places and websites that offer information as well. No longer will this be happening unless I seriously get paid. If I get paid for my advise than well maybe it will put forth the seriousness for the person asking for it. I have mentioned before how I care way too much about babies in general and want the best for every baby out there.
  I  retain a crap load of knowledge on certain subjects, breastfeeding happens to be one of them. It seems I am sought out for breastfeeding advise most often and no matter what I say, do, or sites I point in directions it some how never works out for them and the baby ends up on formula. It's certainly not my advise I even consult with my friend who had been an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant for nearly 13yrs now. I get miffed when this happens. I put myself and effort out there to help succeed and you stop why? I did some snooping and one reason I found was cause I wanted to feel normal again ...normal? really? Normal is a woman who breastfeeds her baby because that is what a normal woman's body does..it lactates for the baby. Not normal is formula, created from another animal's milk in laboratories that the FDA doesn't even regulate. Nope not normal to me, sorry. What a bullshit reason for giving up a wonderful, natural, normal, and perfect thing.
 Did you know only a mere 5% of woman have a real medical condition that makes them not able to lactate? Did you know that most medications are breastfeeding friendly and if not ask your doctor for alternatives. Did you know that there is so much support and information out there that anybody can access to help them succeed? Well yep...

 Now I am not saying I won't give when asked, but you really have to be serious about it cause I am about done wasting my time on a lost cause. I can't save all babies though I wish I really could. i am ok with people asking me things, kinda makes me happy actually. But then I get so upset and disappointed when things fail anyway that The Marine told me he was going to revoke my Internet so that I stop being upset that I wasted my time. I just generally care too much and that kind of sucks. When I earn my Lactation Consultant title I will charge... until then I will only help those who actually mean to want to succeed.

Weather Steroids

 Around here in Northern Alabama it is spring time, and along with spring comes spring storms. In the last week we have had three days that have been rainy and sometimes a little stormy. Also around here the weather forecaster seem to be on steroids about this whole weather thing to the point of insanity in my opinion.
 Growing up I remember standing in the hallways at school or drills or warnings and it was never a big deal. I remember riding home on the bus watching the sky light up. I remember playing softball and having to huddle in the concession stand! I don't remember ever being let out of school for silly reasons short of an actual tornado on the ground, a blizzard, or summer vacation! I know this was I am not going to admit how many years ago many years ago but still with the better prediction center and all the technology out there things have got to be safer, easier, and better. At least you would think so, right?
 Not so, not here. Weather paranoia is on a rampage, although they would prefer if you called it weather aware. Today it is raining, sometimes thundering, but mostly rain and those who had school this week (most had spring break) have been let out of school....or rain! I kid you not! This system has a history apparently from yesterday producing way more in other states before it moved through here...while it moved through here it has been weak and sad. That doesn't stop the weather forecasters on the news from pumping the weather steroids into everybody's veins! Oh no they started pumping this storm system up on Wednesday evening! They quickly had tv commercials playing throughout the day Thursday about how bad it will be today. All day today they have cut into tv shows to tell you about the weather. I am not shitting you, they have gone off the deep end around here! It's RAINING!!!!!!!!! Oh lordy lordy lordy we must button down the hatches!
 They are calling today an event ...really it's spring rain and this is an event?! The noon news is on currently, guess what is this biggest story? ....yes it is the major storms!

 Weather Steroids!

Apocalypse NOW RUN!!!!!!!!!

 Now I can take a flip side look and see that this storm system has produced some damage overnight in other states while making it's way to us. I can understand why parents would want to pull kids out of class because of a bad storm, maybe, I personally would not. I can understand why we need to be weather aware, to a point. I do not understand why we have to be weather paranoid.

 The whole weather paranoia thing is having an opposite effect than they intend, I have stopped paying attention to their cries of wolf. It is starting to annoy me actually, stop crying wolf! These storms coming around lately are a normal part of spring time weather and we should all pull our big girl panties on and deal with them. Stay safe yes but stop with the annoying paranoia already please! What is this teaching our kids that we keep pulling out of school simply because what if... well I tell ya it's teaching them nothing good. First of all the majority of kids need to be in school, Alabama has such a high drop out rate and horrid test scores that i personally feel these kids need as much school time as they can get. Mentioning now that they have already missed so much this year for the snow storms they are so behind. Try not to take offense to that, i did not say your kid/s are stupid just saying they need all they can get because of statistics.Also another shameless plug for homeschooling...you can have an awesome weather lesson today!!!  Secondly if we keep pulling them out and being paranoid what does that get them?....to be frightened and paranoid as well over nothing really. Kids don't need any stress, why can't we teach them how normal this is and explain why this is happening? Ladybug and Mister know about thunder and we makes jokes about what those clouds are so angry about that they have to talk so loud! They are perfectly fine with storms, just the way it should be in my opinion.

 I must say that I personally love this weather. It's perfect napping, cuddle in blankets, and last warm soup of the seasons type weather! I think that storm chasing is something fun and I would in a heartbeat sign up for one of those "vacations" that take you out during tornado season to chase tornadoes! I vow to one day have my own photos of a tornado in my photo arsenal!

 So dear weather forecasters, while you certainly are making us knowledgeable about weather coming our way put the syringe down and take a few notches off the hype of normal spring time weather. Thank you!

Turbo Tubes In Place

 Alright Mister has his tubes in both ears now! It was fast and he did wonderfully! We had to be at the surgery center at 6am which meant we had to wake up at 5am to gether everything ready. I had to pack the diaper bag for Ladybug as well so she wasn't insanely bored while waiting and she had breakfast to eat out of sight of her brother. We checked in and waited and then finally got called to his pre-op room, which funny enough was the same pre-op room I had a few weeks back!! It felt like we waited in there for a while before they came for Mister. When they did it was easy enough, I mean it sucked having to let him go but I knew it wasn't going to take long and it wouldn't actually hurt him so I was fine. The Marine on the other had taken this way worse than I did, he was so worried about Mister. Ladybug was worried too she kept asking where did her brother go and we need to find him.
 We waited no more than 20 minutes before our amazing doctor came to tell us that everything went great and that his turbo tubes were in place. He didn't have any fluid draining out so there was no fluid just the pressure of his drums being sucked into his ears I guess. He gave us a script for ear drops because he remember ed we were going on vacation and if something were to happen we would have the drops, he said he would give them in the office if there was a problem but he didn't expect any. He really is an awesome doctor I would tell everybody to see him, and I wonder if he would travel with us if we have to PCS out of this area...hmmmm
 So then they called for mommy only and I got to go back to meet him in post op. He wasn't there yet but I got to greet him with a huge hug once the nurses walked him out. They said he was the sweetest most loving little boy they had come in for a while. He won over everybody's hearts with his smiles and how he loves to hug! They said he never fussed once and just watched everybody do their thing. They asked if they could keep him there because he was so sweet! That's my boy, he is such a lover!
 We got to go home very shortly after, it took longer for the nurse to get two Popsicles for the kids than it did waiting to go home! On the way home we stopped by krispy kream for a coffee and we promised ladybug a donut which she was extremely pleased to get. She did such a good job during the whole thing, she really impressed me!! I am proud to have such great kids like that!
 After they ate he started to get fussy so right before 10am he went down for a nap and it wasn't until after 2pm till he woke up again!!! I was actually saying maybe we should check on him as he was waking up because I got worried!!
 So did it help or not? well I am still not sure. I notice some changes in him but nothing major. His balance seems to be better and he doesn't hold his arms out as he walks so much anymore. He seems to have gained some degree of confidence too which I wasn't expecting but he has started defending himself when Ladybug picks on him and today at playgroup he sure did hang with the big kids more and wanted to interact rather than on his own being quiet. I don't know if he can hear any better as I was expecting him to stop the pterodactyl scream but he did that once then looked and went on to do it more only laughing because that ear piercing scream must be funny to him. His mood is improved so far. I know it has only been a day so far but he has been happy go lucky since so maybe he won't be so miserable now that the pressure in his ears is gone!
 So all went well with him he still needs speech therapy to help him catch up to what he should be but now we might actually have progress instead of a stand still!

How Many Places Can You Poop?

 Ladybug can poops on the big potty, the little training potty for Mister, outside in her playhouse, while sitting ontop a diaper of her brother's, behind the chair in her bedroom, in the tub of her bathroom, on her indoor trampoline, and finally wrapped in a blanket hidden under her bed. So how many different places do you poop?
 It seems we are going through an experimental stage right now with bodily functions. I think, hope this is normal for her age...? It started last week or the week before that when she suddenly wanted to wear a diaper after being potty trained for almost a year now. I said sure whatever it's all fun and games, and then she actually forced herself to go in it and while she did clean her own mess up I wasn't amused. Since then I have caught her forcing herself to go just about anywhere she can. I am not sure what she is thinking. I have sat her down every single time to tell her that she only goes pee and poo on the big potty, possibly the little training potty out for Mister but no where else or else ...I just don't know what to or else for his... um time outs are growing increasingly ineffective for her. She was stripped of her pants wearing priviledge for a few hours after the pooping outside in the playhouse incident this padt weekend... she didn't like that.
 I just don't understand what can this girl be thinking?!?!? Phase can pass now cause mommy is not amused... and I am pretty sure there is poo someplace waiting to be found still in her room...

Mommy Guilt. Mommy Anger.

 So Mommy guilt sucks so bad some times. I have been thinking and thinking all those what ifs that everybody knows not to but can't stop it. It's all about Mister and his ears, I feel awful. He has been living like this for so long now, he knows nothign different. His ears are always pressured and he can barely hear, no wonder he is so miserable. What if it was something I did like when I was 34 weeks I came down with some nasty awful bug. Just plain horrible for 3 weeks I faught it off. I was in the hospital for the fever once it reached over 103 degrees and our midwife said go. I was in and out of it for 3 whole weeks fighting. What if that did something to his ears in uerto? Should I have stayed in the hospital like they wanted instead of signing out AMA cause I thought their reasons for keeping me was foolish? What was the virus I had? I kick myself for not actually doing that newborn hearing exam, maybe they would have caught it then? Was it even a problem then or was it a developed thing to have had happen to him? I was always too busy to get the test done and after a little fight with our insurance if they would cover it or not I gave up and said whatever. I kick myself. Could I have helped him sooner?
 Mommy anger is with me on this too. I am angry at his doctor who didn't think this was a problem until I insisted it was. I can barely remember either last June or July I thought he had an ear infection and had him checked. I barely remember the pressure test failing on him but his ears didn't look infected said his doctor. I want to review his charts and see from back then if this was going on. His ent said at the first pressure test failing and no infection it should have been taken seriously. I can't remember last summer much though so I can't say it was back then. I am angry at the stupid audiologist for not doing a single thing beyond saying he has fluid and we can't help him. I am angry at them for not looking in his ears the way his ENT looked in his ears. Why did they not reall do their job? I wish I would have skipped them totally and went right for our ENT. I am also slightly angry with tricare for being so slow with referrals, we could have shaved weekns off this whole thing just in the time we wait for them to say yes see this doctor. Now we wait for them to approve surgery!
 I hate that my sweet baby boy has been dealing with this for who knows how long. I feel awful now for every time I have ever gotten upset and short with him for his constant crying, he is miserable from his ears! I hate mommy guilt I wish it would go away....so until then I don't think I am going to stop kissing and tickling the little Mister.


This is Mister and The Marine



Mister is Getting Tubes!

 Well I may have mentioned (I don't remember) that Mister has been having problems with his speech, as in he communicates on the same level of 6-9 month olds. He is pretty much 75% of the day crying and screaming for one reason or another because he cannot effectively communicate with us his needs and feelings, which is pretty much a really hard thing to deal with every single day by myself. He has taught me more patience than anything else in my life. So when we started with figuring out what was wrong at the beginning of the year we started with an audiologist who did a simple hearing test in a booth which he failed, either he was super uninterested-my opinion- or he really did fail. Then she did a simple pressure test in both ears which showed negative pressure, worse in he left ear than his right. She said then he may have fluids in his ear behind the drum that she couldn't see and to come back in two weeks for a recheck the fluid should be gone by then. Well two weeks later it was not gone and in fact the pressure test was worse, so then it was onto his regular doctor for other options. I have to say we never did get a newborn hearing test because he wasn't born in a hospital and we failed to even bother with it. So his regular doctor said she could put him on a round of antibiotics I asked why when there is no infection just fluid it seemed, she said just in case, I said no send us to an ENT. So she put the referral in.
 In the meantime he has been getting speech therapy and OT both twice a month through our states early intervention program. We have been working with Mister on baby signs since he was a baby and he never took to it, and now this therapists really want us to push with it but he still is resisting on a huge level. He seriously refuses to do any signs with me at all on any level no matter what. He can be in the best most super mood but if I ask him to sign more once at like a meal he turns into super screaming Mister and throws things at me during some point of my efforts...so this is failing. Although in further attempts to make me seem insane he does things for other people when they ask him. Like his therapists he just goes for it and signs for them whenever they ask him too... he thinks it's funny probably. He may have inherited my super sarcastic sense of humor... may have. ha ha.
 SO today was his ENT visit, we sees the same wondering doctor that I do! We agreed on getting tubes put in both ears. As he described it Mister's ear drums are sucked back into his ears way more than normal think of a balloon around a vacuum tube and turn the vacuum on, it sucks it down in there. The drums are sucked down in so much its making it near impossible for the small bones and everything else to vibrate and work properly thus causing hearing loss. Mister can hear, just really muffled and poorly. He seemed super optimistic that getting tubes in with equal the pressure in his ears. Again he failed the pressure test and had negative pressure in both ears, worse in the left. It would balance out everything and allow any fluid that has collected inside there to drain out. He said it really should be the fix of this, if not children's hearing aides have come a long way in recent years.
 So we have to wait on Tricare to approve the surgery- which may take like a week. Hopefully we can get him in and done before we take off for an Ohio vacation later this month. The whole things will last no longer than 20 minutes and he won't be fully put under, just laughing gas basically. After the surgery if he needs Tylenol that is all! It's really the most simple surgery he does but one of the most beneficial for those who need it! So I am excited to finally be having some answers and a possible fix...I was thinking tubes since the beginning as I just knew in my mommy gut that something was wrong. I am not too excited that this has to happen and my little boy is having any kind of surgery even minor! What mom would? So hopefully he have good results and he starts getting better once he can hear us for real! I hope that after he has the surgery he passed his hearing tests!
 So we just have to wait for the scheduling lady to call us!

   On a little update for me after my surgery since we saw my doctor today. I am apparently one of the slowest healers as I still have a lot not healed. I am having a lot of facial pain more on the left side and more than normal bloody discharge and more than I should bloody noses, even minor I shouldn't be having any bloody noses at this point. So I am on a round of antibiotics and a steroid pack plus super saline washing and nasenox (however that is spelled). I hate to admit that I am still having headaches that only go away for a few hours when I max out on OTC headache meds..they come right back. I am beyond disappointed in this, what if my surgery didn't actually help my headaches which was my main reason for seeing this doctor to begin with? I mean I know I had to have the surgery it was unavoidable but my head is still really hurting and it really upsets me. I need to figure this out.

City Chicken

 This is such a yummy dinner! Growing up we used to have this often, my Nana would make it and she always made the best food! I grew up and moved out and forgot about it until working in a nursing home and the husband of a patient brought this in for us night shift girls. He was always so sweet to bring us night shift girls dinner! Since then I have been making it here and there and decided I was going to make it again for dinner tonight. I think I have only made this like 3 times since being married cause it is a tad time consuming to prepare. I love it! There is no chicken in this at all expect the broth, don't ask me why it's named that even though it has no real chicken in it cause I have no answers for you!

Ingredients:

-Cubes of pork or beef or even veal. I use pork and beef but you can do all one meat if you like.

cubing is easy for me I just buy beef for pot roast at the store which is already cut up and pork for stir fry!

-flour

-eggs

-seasoned bread crumbs

-wooden skewer sticks

-cooking oil

-chicken broth

Directions:

-alternating pieces of meat, skewer them onto the sticks

-coat with flour making sure to get thne flour into each piece and all around

-coat with egg again making sure to cover all

-coat with bread crumbs yet again making sure to cover all

-in a frying pan with heated oil just brown the outside, use metal tongs to turn it please!

-once brown place meat stick into a roasting dish

-Pour chicken broth over top meat and have enough in the bottom to roast with

-cover with tin foil and bake at 150 degrees for an hour!

It comes out really fall of the stick tender and so yummy! I love this dish I just don't love the time I have to put into making it because yes it does kind of suck making sure everything is coated well on the stick but other than that it's perfect! I served with homemade delish mashed potatoes and green beans! Good stuff!!





Banana Bread

 Growing up my grandma Gin always made the very best ever banana bread so I knew this was one i had to add to my collection of recipes. I made it for The Marine one time and he could not stop raving over the awesome-ness of the bread and I could eat a whole loaf of it himself in one sitting so normally I make 2 at a time. This recpie I have is a tweeked version of what my grandma gin gave me and it's what I make today for my family. I made some this morning on a whim cause I wanted to surprise The Marine as a thank you for being so totally rocking to me!

Ingredients:

1 and 1/2 cup sifted flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 cup soft butter

1 cup sugar

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

3/4 cup mashed bananas

2 tablespoons sour cream

-Mix together the top dry ingredients and set aside

-Mix together the bottom wet indredients until well mixed

-mix together the dry and wet until well blended

-bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour in a greased bread dish

 It;s really very easy to make! My kids love mashing the bananas together, I give them an old potato masher and they go to town! This makes one loaf size so I normally double things so that The Marine gets his fill and the rest of us can have some too!

really yummy still warm with melting butter on top!

Dear Playgroup Mommies

Dear Playgroup Mommies who do speak different languages,
 I think I speak for most of us other moms when I say that we would like for you to speak english when you are at playgroup. We might want to interact with you too and when you huddle in a group and jabber back and forth with each other in a different languages it really makes it hard for us other moms. I understand that is your language but let us be real our national language is english and when you are in a group like a playgroup it would reall be nice if you cut that out and spoke so that we all can understand what you are saying. I hate sitting there listening to you and your two other friends talk back and forth wondering what you are saying. Are you talking badly about other moms? Or worse our kids? I really dislike how clique-y the playgroup has gotten since your group has come in. Great way to boldly say hey we don't want to interact with you other moms, just get the kids out for 2hrs and thats all without coming outright and saying so. It annoys the piss out of me, I live in America and I like speaking english I also like hearing it too and interacting with other moms who also don't try to alienate themselves by talking amongst themselves in their language.
 My child also would probably like to talk with your child and understand each other. To the child at playgroup who doesn't speak or understand english I am sorry for you, sorry for the injustice your mother and family is doing to you. What a shame that you live here in America and don't understand our national language, wonder how far behind other kids you will be if put in public schools? My poor kids would love to play with you and I know Ladybug has tried more than a few times to start a conversation with you but she gets upset because nobody has bothered to teach you english. I also would like for you to understand what I say when I am telling you to stop hitting or being mean because your mommy is too busy jibber jabbing back and forth with her other friends, probably talking about how much fun it is to just come to playgroup and not pay attention to your kids while other parents try and correct their horrid behavior as best they can when there is a language barrier.
 I enjoy coming to playgroup regularly, I have made some friends there that I really like talking with when we are all there. It is fun for my kids to see their friends and play and have snacks and all that together. But really I like playgroup because I get to have adult human interaction which as a stay at home mom I really really enjoy! I would love to talk with you and get to know you and have interactions with you other than a welcome smile when you walk in the door. I remember last summer we had a family come in who was from Saudi Arabia and we all tried as hard as we could to interact with them even though they barely understood or spoke a lick of english. The mom was so willing to understand us and I even went as far as buying an eglish/Saudi translator app on my phone to helps us all comminucate better. That ended up helping so much and we were able to show that mom and her wonderful children a nice time while they were in the states. Heck we even made arrangements to get them too and from Chuck E Cheese one day!
 So seriously if that mom made as much attempts as she possibly could why can't you? Is it that much effort to talk with us other moms? If you don't want interactiosn with us than why even bother coming to our playgroup? It really really bugs the shit out of me.
 Signed,
 Me, the redhead who is super annoyed at you

I do Miss You Mike

 In my family if you are upset with somebody else you just stop having any and all forms of communication with them. It is how it is and for as long as I could remember things have been like that. My grandma is the biggest offender and probably where the rest of us get this from. Through out my childhood I can remember at one point in time she was not comminutcating with somebody else for one reason or the other, I think everybody has spent some time on the outs with her. It is what it is. It is a cycle of bad comminucation and harbored feelings, when you don't talk to somebody about whats wrong you never solve your problems. My parents did it when they were still married. They really enjoyed talking at each other from another room and never in a good way. Or under their breathe as they huff away from a fight...or plenty of other examples of why their marriage never worked or would have ever worked...
 I am an offender. If The Marine upsets me I walk away, I just get up and walk away. I would rather not deal with it, I would rather ignore my hurt feelings than deal with it. I have been doing better. I do not wish to continue this cycle with my kids. I want them to know and understand healthy forms of communication which will help them now and for the rest fo their lives. I also am doing this for myself and my marriage. I really do love my husband and I know he is not a mind reader...he is a man and men are just slower to see things I think. If I were a lesbian I think it would be great cause we would mesh well and things would be done. But I married a man, ha ha!, and I have to remember that unless I tell him I want something done it won't get done. I don't want to harbor bad feelings towards him and not explain to him why.
 My older brother is about the worst offender of them all. He has not spoken with or even probably though about our mother in near 10 years or so, along with her parents (his grandparents) simply cause they are her parents. I won't get into why he doesn't talk to her and says she is dead but it was a lot from way back when. He hasn't talked to our dad in over a year, that fight was at a Christmas visit when there was a joke made about AT&T vs Verizon and it wasn't handled as a joke so he just hasn't talked to Dad since...I wish I was joking about that but I am not. I doesn't talk to me anymore either over an issue with his mail. He had it forwarded to me while he was training for a new job and well all he ever got was bills and he always told me to throw the bills away. He got court papers for his daughter and I scanned those and emailed them so he would have them...I forgot where they went so when he wanted me to mail his crap back...ya I didn't have anything cause he either told me to throw it away or I had emailed it to him already. He stopped talking to me over that and it will be a year this summer since he has bothered with me.... he even blocks you on favebook if he isnt talking to you. I hold no hope of him even bothering to talk again, so whatever his loss.   
Whats worse is that he has a daughter whom he has seen two or three times and by the time she was a month old had taken off and said he wanted nothing to do with her at all...why? well basically he drove the baby momma away for some unknown reason, prior to my niece being born it seemed like he was excited about it...then he slowly started picking fights and then was like whatever I don't care see ya later...or never. He then ran away across the US... child support courts caught him though which is good for my niece. He at one point when child support started said he wanted to go to court get a dna test and then take custody of her..whatever happened to that I have no clue because he hasn't done anything more than what the court papers have said he has to do. It's a real shame he acts like this but for some reason he just simply does not care at all about anything that is not right in front of his face. He is selfish and ignorant. I wish my brother was apart of my life, I wish he cared about his family, his daughter, or anybody else that's not himself but he doesn't. I get to just accept it and move on, Ive made more than my share of attempts at having a relationship with him and he has always rejected. Thank goodness my kids don't rememeber him at all, and his daughter doesn't know what its like to have him there either. It's probably better for her that way, not ever knowing what its like to have him around or knowing what its like to have him there when he isnt mad and upset with you...
 So that's how it's done there...I miss you Mike... I wish you had some kind of pang to have relationships with your family... in the end of life we are the only ones who are here....as it is now when you die nobody is going to come to your funeral or anything because you don't want us around at all so why should we then? Maybe one day you will see....but until then I will keep breathing.

I Have a Constantly Messy Home

 And ya know what? I so do not care! I would really rather be playing with the kids, creating arts, running wild, making forts, cooking creations, and in general having a ball with my kids than to be picking up after them and cleaning constantly. Seriously I have two tornados toddlers so my house is going to be messy and if that bothers you oh well you don't live with us! Sometimes i go to a home and it's like super super clean and in my head I am like ok when do you play with the kids? If you are always cleaning to make the house look nice all the time when do your kids have creative fun time? In the colder months my house is a total trainwreck and for us it's totally cool cause it just toy messes all over. I am a good housekeeper and things are clean, just always super messy! I don't care to always be picking up toys and making the kids put things away all the time. If I did then I would sound like a horrible broken record telling them to pick up and all that. BORING! Let my kids play and we clean up when we have to. Right now my kitchen is a total hell hole, my dishwahser if full and needing to be put away it's all clean, the sink is full of dirty dishes needing in the dishwasher, countertops messy and toys all over the floor. Right before lunch and naptime we started our dinner (something needs to marinate all day) and the kids helped me chop, mix, and make this mess! I will clean it after dinner, just not now cause we had more playtime to do!
 Right now imagination runs our home and that is how we like it!

Ha Ha April Fools!

 Every year I try to play out an April Fools joke on one person. this year I had to target my Dad and Step-mom only because it had been a while and it was the perfect set up.
 As many may know they live far far away in the magical land of Ohio near the PA boarder where it snows all year and when it doesn't know there is road construction to fix the massive potholes from the snow. We have been planning a visit to go see them with both kids for what seems like a year now. Most of my family in Ohio have never met Mister and I have new family I have enver met there too like a niece and my cousin's miracle son who was born 10 weeks early and is now almost 2yrs old!! Last time we made the trek to Ohio was when Ladybug was 7.5 months old, it was there in my dad's purple bathroom I learned I was expecting a new baby!  SOOO pranking them was perfect!!!
 I called when I knew they were both home and asked to be put on speaker, I sounded as upset I could sound but saved the best for a few minutes into my whole talk. I had asked The Marine earlier in the day to help with this and he came out with a beautiful thing to have had 'happen'. I told them something had happened to my car today when I was driving back from getting the kids silhouette portraits done but I didn't know what so when The Marine got home we went for a ride and cue the crying my car broke. Cue way more crying and almost cannot understand me, serisouly I could have been and actor! We were at the mechanics now and the water pump had broken making the serpentine belt poke a hole in my radior and that it was going to be upwards of a thousand dollars to fix it, thus eating up our entire savings we had for Ohio. I was so good that my dad had to ask to say it slower and more clearly cause he couldn't understand me through my babble and cries!!!! SUCCESS! They sounded crushed (I feel almost bad about that) but said they wanted time to digest what I had just told them. I muttered that I would call them later when I calmed down a little, as I was just so upset.
 About an hour later my step-mom called and asked if I was ok, I started the fake near cry again. Then she said that they talked and they would pay for our gas, we could still come to Ohio!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO what great parents I have! I played a little more kept saying what?! what?! really?! Ha ha it was good stuff.
Then I asked her what today was....pause...pause... "um it's April firs......OH You brat!!!!!" muhahahahahaha April Fools!!!!

 so what did you do for April Fools???

I Found A Diaper I Didn't Like

Surprising, I know!!!

 Let me say that there was only like 2 reason I did not like this diaper and let me tell you what I did like. I really liked the organic natiral fibers of the diaper. It was a one size pocket, the insert was hemp and the liner was all soft and cooshy on Mister's cute tushy. I liked the front pocket stuffing, while it never was an issue at anytime to have a back stuffed pockets gross nasty mess i understand it happens to other people so that was cool. The leg gussets were made of fleece so while they prevented leaks they were also breathable and let airflow to little butts, even more preventing and soothing diaper rashes. It was absorbant and held in it's messes. The diaper did what it needed to do. I did like those things about this diaper.

 I didn't like these things so much that I gave it away

 Yes I seriously gave away this diaper, I really didn't like it and it would have never gotten used in our stash. It went to a home who could love it more. Mister is on the smaller end of charts for his age, so by now means is he a big kid. This diaper while a "one-size" was on the largest setting both in the rise and the side snaps. If we didn't have it on the largest possible settings for him it would dig into him and he had red marks for a while before we switched it out. Even on the largest setting we would look at it and think that it might actually be a little too small on him. For that reason alone is why I gave this diaper to a friend who had a little baby in need of a new diaper. I thought they would use it more and get the use out of the diaper that the diaper deserved. By all accounts it was a great diaper and had the rise and sizing been bigger we would have kept it.

 The diaper in questions is a BabyKicks 3G pocket diaper. We had ours in the cool red color. So I am sorry 3G you get a D in my diaper grading simply for size.

Who I am NOT

 It is funny how you sometimes get to hear how other people who do not know you well make snap judgements on what type of person they think you must be. I have often walked around with people making snap judgements about me simply because I have red hair and for some reason redheads are seen often as bitches. The reason behind this I have no idea. It was way way worse when I was super skinny, then I was seen as the skiiny redheaded bitch and that never went well for me. People often never give me a chance just because of that, their loss-not sure if I care to have friends who make snap judgements like that anyway.
 Then as I grew I was often seen as a party girl when in reality I hate drinking, I honestly do not like drinking. I cannot stand the smell of any hard alcohol let alone the taste. Beer in my opinion tastes like something I would throw away because it spoiled. Wine is also not for me. If I have a drink it is a fruity taste and you cannot detect taste amounts of alcohol in it. Further more I do not like that tipsy feeling, and I can count on my one hadn how many times I have been drunk in my entire life. Drinking is just not for me. Funny cause I am Irish and going along with the sterotype I should be a raging lush! I admit back in my late teenage years I was known to have fun but not drinking...it was a darker time in my life. Lessons learned then, came out on top.
 These days I am passions including empowered childbirth, breastfeeding, carseats, raising children properly, attachment parenting and those passions of mine carry their own snap judgements. If you are a facebook friend of mine you do know I post things related to these, I have a lot of birthy friends on facebook, some of whom I never met in real life, and i know they would find those things intresting to read. I also know plenty of people who are pregnant, new moms, and who are trying to get pregnant and I do want them to have all information they have to make informed choices because becoming a parents is certainly life changing and gathering hoards of information about it I think is super important. BUT doing so makes people see me in often this weird hippie crazy-squat in the woods have a baby-condemn others for having drugs for birth or using formula for the baby type of person when if you actually know me I am not. I mean yes I would rather all babies have breastmilk but even my own children have had formula-Ladybug solely from 8 months on and Mister once becase I simply could not take his insane screaming anymore (and for some reason thought formula would make it better...PPD sucks BTW). I also had drugs in labor with Ladybug-surprise! While yes I do have these passions they do not consume who I am as a person and I am not one sided. If you ask for my advise on something I will give it, I will not force down your throat. And if you do not have the same views as I do then fine I don't mind. The beauty of being human is freedom of thought, otherwise we would all be so boring I think suscide rates would be high...or not cause we would all think alike...anywho it doesn't matter what I am passionate about it does not make who I am. maybe try and get past those things if they do not interest you. I have plenty of birthy friends who I can talk to about these things but I also like other type of more "normal" type friends ...if there is a normal anymore.
 Marine Wife. It's a title that never used to mean anything living at Camp Lejeune as there were thousands of us. We never stood out from the one standing next to us honestly. We outnumbered the civilian wives in jacksonville! Marine Wife is printed on the front of my car with a cool little licence plate along with an EGA (eagle globe and anchor). It has been there since like a week after The Marine bought my car for me. I just liked it and wanted it on there. It only seems to matter living here, among mostly Army wives. Now for the rest of this part of my post try to put big girl panties on as I am not trying to say Army wives are catty or something it's just the age of division of military branches coming into play. So when we PCS'ed here I never thought about my status of not being just like the others, and I never thought I would stand out or be excluded because I wasn't married to Army! Although the majority of wives do not care I have come across a few who actually do and I don't know why. I do not flaunt around prancing my husbands branch like it's so much better or something. I wear t-shirts with Marine things on them, yes, but so do Army wives and I don't get offended! The plate on my car was there long before we knew we were coming here, I am not taking it off just cause we live here. I found to be more excluded in the neighborhood we lived in while we lived on base. Something about not being Army made the people not bother to welcome us, or bother even saying a simple hi all the while they held cookouts for each other all summer long, exlcude much? We also felt a little put off by the housing department too living on base, they seemed to always target us over our neighbors who offended more, maybe we made that up in our heads but it certainly seemed that way-one reason why we moved. I post funny videos on facebook sometimes poking fun at the Army while failing to remember I have several Army wives friends on my friends list, most of whom do not know a simple fun fact about me. My Father in Law spent 30 years enlisted in the Army, he made Command Sergeant Major.  He also has his own facebook page and we enjoy poking fun at one another sometimes like that cause it's a fun thing, not a meanOMG the Army sucks type thing. I must say I am sorry if these things were taking to heart because you didn't know the story behind them. All of those things seems to have often made me unapproachable to other wives and that sucks cause again being married to The Marine does not define who I am. If you knew me really you would find that I have become rather salty when it comes to dealing with the Marine Corps here, our unit has made all of that possible and could break any super moto-young Marine into a salty disgruntaled person. Remember my longing for fleet Marine Corps again?!  And even if I wasn't salty who cares if I love my Marine and am proud of him, aren't all military wives super proud of their husbands no matter what branch?

 so snap judgements based on who you think I should be suck. Stop doing them. It really is your loss because my friends can tell you once you are my friend I do care about you, and I treat you as good or better than I want to be treated. I like the saying always be extra nice to people because everybody has a battle you know know about ... I am a good friend when I have a good friend. However I don't take kindly to cross people, shady people, liars, fake people, asskissers, and people who rub me the wrong way.

Don't judge Books by the Covers.