It seems that minding our manners is nearing a thing of the past and this saddens me. I enjoy polite people who sincerly say thank you or please on a regular basis. I like holding the door open for people and I don't mind waiting for them to walk up to the door, not just the whole hold it open until I walk away type of holding it open either. I am seeing less and less of the general polite public and more of the 'all about me' type of people who don't care about anything but what they are doing or have to be doing. If I go out with the kids myself to say the mall it is an ordeal for me, I would love if anybody seeing me struggle to get the doors open and stay open long enough for the double stroller to pass through to come give me a hand instead of huffing behind me and going to a different door. I think our society is becoming lost for nice-ness and focused more on their own needs. I am trying to teach my children differently but on the same level teaching them not to be somebody's doormat too.
Yes I do teach my children manners and general polite things but I also do not force them to say things, instead I model things for them. I teach them when is the correct time to say please or thank you and even you're welcome! I happily report Ladybug fully grasps these concepts and even tell people bless you when some one sneezes. She is very friendly and happy and loves to tell anybody hello with a warm smile. Sometimes it concerns me that she is so friendly but I know I am teaching her good things, who doesn't love a sweet hello from a darling 2.5yr old? People comment on her manners often I am proud of thatI want my children to be nice polite people growing up, to me it says they have class and generally care about others. Mister still isn't talking but he can sign please and he does so I know he is understanding it as well!
But how do I make sure they don't become doormats later on by being too nice? I know I have become a doormat on more than a few occasions and it hurts my feelings when it happens I don't wish that for them. I want them to becomes strong polite people. I know I shouldn't worry about this right now but I do and I think about the general public taking advantage of them if I raise them 'right'. This will be a bridge we cross when it comes I guess. I wish it didn't have to be such a way, I wish all children being raised right now were learned how to polite and kind. I know they aren't and most will grow up to model the behaviors they see in their own homes :sad face:
Kind of on the flip side I don't force the kids to share, I know how odd of me right? I relly don't tell them all the time that they have to share becaue why should they? Let's look at an example of something that happened today at playgroup;
Ladybug wanted in this tunnel thing but there was another child in there and he was there first, so rightfully so he did not have to get out until he wanted to. This upset Ladybug big time she seemed to expect for him to get out and when I told her that he is playing an she needed to wait she got mad. She got to sit on my lap and we talked about it. SO when the lother child got out she was really happy to be able to play!
This is how they learn in our house, by feelings, yes it sucked to have to wait but it also felt really really good to be able to play when the other kid was done. That is sharing to us, well I guess really waiting their turn. Now on the flip side if one of my kids are playing with something and some other child wants it I do not force them to give it up why should I? They are rightfully playing with it the other child can wait until they are done in their own time. If one of my kids takes a toy (which Ladybug has a huge huge probelm with) form somebody else they get in trouble for it period because that is not nice behavior.
SO how do you view manners in your house?
I just wrote a blog similar in nature. Southern Raised I guess you would say. My mom was trying to teach Skylar please, thank you, yes ma'am before Momma ever came out of her mouth. I am not super anal about manners but I do lead by example. When I ask the children to do something I always say please and Thank you. I try to tell my husband the same. I am learning your view point on sharing and it makes sense to me. My kids haven't had to deal with that too much I spose.. Skylar always has shared or taken turns and never had a problem with it. She's very social and friendly. She's become more stingy with William's competition.
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